10 days after surgery

doing great and as spunky as ever!!!

i just want to thank everyone for being so supportive , sensitive and prayerful during all this stuff with Judah. i have been stressed and tired and sad but knowing that i am not the only one praying and worried has been a real relief. it is wonderful to know such amazing people so seriously thank you.
God was with us and Judah this w...hole time It was good to know my friends were too .

Judah looks and feels amazing found out he has bad asthma (way better than pneumonia right?) ... best of all we get to go home this evening !

Instead of having to stay longer like they said he would have to , now he may be able to go home soon !!

with Grandpa

Judah got his bandages off and is doing wonderfully !!!

Judah is actually feeling better today. off the oxygen!!! Still has breathing problems his chest sounds horriable you can hear him breath across the room. but the Dr. Wants to move us out of ICU today so yay! :)

here is a picture of Judah trying to smile with his swollen face .... he can barley open his eyes - he is such a champion!!!

This morning is getting a bit better -not so much bleeding and they are trying to get him to breathe more on his own he is down to 30% oxygen and his lungs don't sound as crinkly as last night ,still has high risk for pneumonia . But better.
Poor baby looks like a tomato he is so swollen.
Thank you all for your prayers, God listens!

Please keep praying for Judah we have had a very long night

he is having a hard time because he was sick before the surgery and now his lungs sound really bad ,he has been on 50% oxygen and had to have his lungs vacuumed . Plus he ripped out an iv in his foot - blood literally everywhere and was fighting so hard he made his head start draining a lot more blood then he had been(after trying to rip out the drain) . And he won't eat anything.
i am so stressed and tired.

My poor sweet baby

Judah is doing well he is in ICU and will be tomorrow as well we are waiting right now for him to wake up

Judah is still in surgery , they just said he should be out around 2:30 . Thank you all for your prayers support and love. It means so much to us.

(picture of the flavorless hospital food we ate for lunch)

about to go into surgery

Judah's surgery is tomorrow morning we come in at 5
I'm so nervous

hope Judah gets over his cold before his surgery poor baby has been coughing and sneezing almost 51/2 weeks now.... round three of antibiotics :(

Bluie our horrible dog of mass destruction!!!!

Jasmine got to see Santa today!!!!

Corky took her!!!!!!

Our thanksgiving poster

Judah got a haircut today

finally got the surgery dates-
we are having a consult with the surgeon Nov.30th and then
Judah is having surgery on Dec. 1st

Jasmines thanksgiving play

me and my princess

Jazz had fun at the pumpkin patch
<3

so even though we weren't supposed to get the CT results for 2 days they called about an hour ago .
they said Judah will have to have surgery to remove part of his skull so his brain will have room to grow - they are sending us to Little Rock in the next week or so to consult with a neurosurgeon.

so Judah just had an x-ray of his head and they found that he has Craniosynostosis - which means his soft spot has closed off way too soon ..... he is going to have a ct scan sometime this week to see how bad... :( - please pray for him

I'm still awake ... stupid headache pills with caffeine - not that I'm really dissing the pills because sure they help.... more just the fact that any small amount of caffeine keeps me awake until the ungodly hours of the night/morning....
migraines stink.... and are even worse when your pregnant.... and lack of sleep when you have a 3 year old adds to the stinkyness of them....at least i dont have one anymore(migraine).... nope just sleep deprived....

Lines etched across a page,
deep like trenches.
black and soulless.
your fate is here ,
somewhere in the darkness.
words that burn into my mind
piercing my heart.
flames leap across the paper,
creatures come to life,
crawling through nightmares..
the flowers are gone.
Charcoal skies melt around me
sticky, like tar ...from cigarettes
lingering , stale.
broken smiles,
reborn lies,
faded dreams.
you are here among the shadows ,
chained.
a porcelain doll .
~ Me

happier today - don't know why i was so down yesterday :(
i got approved for medicaid and got jazz on ARK-KIDS so that takes a load off
jazz is feeling better today( she got her shots yesterday and was a grouch plus she was running fever :( poor baby)
we went up to the Ashdown lake Millwood today with glory and spent two hours out there - no one was there so it was a blast - we had it all to ourselves!
i wish we could have brought Lady she freaks out at the opportunity to go to the lake - she gets to swim- lol
anyways cupcakes and lost tonight!

tired and feeling a bit down.
I feel like all my days run together
my house cant stay clean
I don't sleep well at night
I'm scared I wont be ready to have another baby - financially
or be able to divide my time the right way i should
or even have anything ready for my baby .
I feel lonely
and I'm scared i scare people off by being to needy
the more i want people around me
the less people are actually there .
I'm just glad i have a sister who can put up with me.



maybe its just hormones talking

Fold the earth
in origami shapes
swans, flowers , tiny elephants
watch as they are consumed
by the sun you inked in black above them
ashes fall like snow
cold on your face
melting with your tears.
as you watch your paper world
disappear
~ Me

123......

So i really like paint by numbers.. i know that makes me unoriginal or something but i have so much fun doing it.
its very relaxing in the sense i don't have to decide I'm a crappy painter - it makes me an awesome painter every time :P of course i am offered constant help from jazz but usually she can paint with her paints and i can paint with mine.
right now i am painting a fox :) i like foxes.

Catch up

So its been pretty much a whole year since i wrote here.... wow crazy. i actually forgot i even had a journal till my friend Bethany started one on here and i thought hey i think i may actually have one already.
hmmm. glory isn't living with us anymore she moved and so did we.
i am pregnant again - 5 1/2 months with a boy... which i have no idea what we will name him other then Armando insists that it contain Gabriel or Emanuel somewhere in the name.....
we had to place whisper because she was getting to aggressive with people outside of our family - including the kids in our neighborhood..
We have to very stinky ferrets named Snowbell and River.
Armando is working at radioshack now, i'm not working because i'm considered high-risk pregnancy.
my granddad came down for a hip surgery in early Sept. and lived with us till early jan. had a heart attack and now lives with my parents... i have decided when i am old - screw hip surgery ... let me suffer!
lets see .... i watch Lost obsessively and i am sad that the final season is halfway over :(
and i can't think of much else to update on other then the fact that we may be moving to NC after we have the baby because a church has asked Armando to come work with them.

OK well guess that catches up with most of the past year...