happier today - don't know why i was so down yesterday :(
i got approved for medicaid and got jazz on ARK-KIDS so that takes a load off
jazz is feeling better today( she got her shots yesterday and was a grouch plus she was running fever :( poor baby)
we went up to the Ashdown lake Millwood today with glory and spent two hours out there - no one was there so it was a blast - we had it all to ourselves!
i wish we could have brought Lady she freaks out at the opportunity to go to the lake - she gets to swim- lol
anyways cupcakes and lost tonight!

tired and feeling a bit down.
I feel like all my days run together
my house cant stay clean
I don't sleep well at night
I'm scared I wont be ready to have another baby - financially
or be able to divide my time the right way i should
or even have anything ready for my baby .
I feel lonely
and I'm scared i scare people off by being to needy
the more i want people around me
the less people are actually there .
I'm just glad i have a sister who can put up with me.



maybe its just hormones talking

Fold the earth
in origami shapes
swans, flowers , tiny elephants
watch as they are consumed
by the sun you inked in black above them
ashes fall like snow
cold on your face
melting with your tears.
as you watch your paper world
disappear
~ Me

123......

So i really like paint by numbers.. i know that makes me unoriginal or something but i have so much fun doing it.
its very relaxing in the sense i don't have to decide I'm a crappy painter - it makes me an awesome painter every time :P of course i am offered constant help from jazz but usually she can paint with her paints and i can paint with mine.
right now i am painting a fox :) i like foxes.

Catch up

So its been pretty much a whole year since i wrote here.... wow crazy. i actually forgot i even had a journal till my friend Bethany started one on here and i thought hey i think i may actually have one already.
hmmm. glory isn't living with us anymore she moved and so did we.
i am pregnant again - 5 1/2 months with a boy... which i have no idea what we will name him other then Armando insists that it contain Gabriel or Emanuel somewhere in the name.....
we had to place whisper because she was getting to aggressive with people outside of our family - including the kids in our neighborhood..
We have to very stinky ferrets named Snowbell and River.
Armando is working at radioshack now, i'm not working because i'm considered high-risk pregnancy.
my granddad came down for a hip surgery in early Sept. and lived with us till early jan. had a heart attack and now lives with my parents... i have decided when i am old - screw hip surgery ... let me suffer!
lets see .... i watch Lost obsessively and i am sad that the final season is halfway over :(
and i can't think of much else to update on other then the fact that we may be moving to NC after we have the baby because a church has asked Armando to come work with them.

OK well guess that catches up with most of the past year...